Just exactly What were the possibilities things could wind up violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself that I became unwilling to simply accept but struggling to stop? On me personally in ways! They were maybe perhaps not questions that are idle. I thought long and difficult relating to this, however in the final end i decided that no, he’dn’t do this. According to what, you ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration ended up being, that which was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have a intercourse partner as well as minimum some use of my canteen account. We knew he previously absolutely no cash, and then he knew that I experienced at the very least some cash. Possibly he had been actually interested in me and then he ended up being a mooch — an opportunity was represented by me to fulfill both requirements! Ended up being here any such thing undoubtedly incorrect with that? Only at that very very very early phase we told myself that so long I was okay to let him have a soup or a honey bun when he wanted something as he didn’t get too greedy. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? In the end, we endured to have something using this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part in the event I got threatened or harassed.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to obtain tested occasionally and blah blah that is blah. I did son’t press the presssing problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively I inquired myself — keep in mind, this person ended up being assigned to kitchen duty m.camonster — Would my state’s DOC designate some guy with HIV to that particular type or types of work? I had to think the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed inside my confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or dose that is single. Consequently we judged him become healthier.

Ended up being I really the only guy he had been striking on or are there others — either immediately within my dorm or perhaps in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we value that? A jail dorm is approximately the smallest amount of personal spot you can inhabit, therefore I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with others. He previously other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it seem like he had been striking on any one of those dudes? Response — no. As to I must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have been paying so much attention whether I cared. But we told myself I cared maybe maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless racking your brains on their genuine motives and focused on getting an STD.

I inquired myself: If i really do this does that produce me personally unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom We hoped to reconcile when I got down? Exactly just exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after a very long time to be straight — at minimum since it pertains to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I became building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end whenever we finished. I was thinking, “Trayvon is just a situation that is unique. How many other young black colored dudes might be enthusiastic about an adult white guy? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I became simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.

Before looking at the prospective advantages Trayvon had to provide as a “friend with advantagesthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! That has been, assume we had been learned? Assume rumors about us begun to fly round the dorm simply because I happened to be spending lots of time hanging out Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each and every other a great deal? What would we do, if anything, to squelch rumors that are such?